I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? Hey, it's damn near Valentine's Day, which to me means only one thing: Presidents' Day is right around the corner. So it's high time for me and the guys to rendezvous pronto...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, I don't have much time to whip out an essay for you's this week on account I got to go meet up with my crew over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school on Hysteric Center...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, can't deliver the palaver this week on how the brainwashed Tea Party/Republican uber-faithful constitute a zombie horde hell-bent on devouring truth, justice and the...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, crushed I am by the flushing of our Packers season down the turd bowl by a focking bunch of New Yorkers, and some knob says to me, “Hey Artie, writing those essays...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, since this new year 2012 so far has been abso-focking-lutely nothing to write home about, I'm putting the kibosh on whipping out an essay for you's this week...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, this newspaper is celebrating its 30th-anniversary year; and me, myself, is toasting his own 25 years of whipping out these essays like a fry cook at your favorite greasy...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So how was my merry focking Christmas? No, Santa—fat moralistic fock that he is—did not deliver the bevy of Vegas showgirls I requested; but thanks for asking...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So let me ask you this: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? For some of us, the answer is: “Depends on what kind of insurance you have.” But for millions and...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, I got to tell you's I'm a tad torn about what kind of essay I ought to slap together here, this being the Thanksgiving week. Naturally, I feel like blowing the whole damn thing...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, I hear Stephen King's got a new book out, 11/22/63, about some guy who goes back in time to stop the President Kennedy assassination. Yeah yeah, Friday, Nov. 22...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, another Daylight-Saving Time fall back/extra hour day has come and gone and it's left me feeling a whole bunch down and blue in deep despair, what the fock...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, now that every Badger Tom, Dick and Dickless jackass clown can pack a piece dang near anywhere he or she cares to as of 12 a.m. last Tuesday, I sure as hell feel...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, it's been one heck of a couple weeks around the Kumbalek neck of woods, where every day seems to be Halloween, I kid you not...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, a quick reminder to you's not to forget to cast your votes in this year's big honking Shepherd Express Best of Milwaukee readers' choice poll with a deadline of Oct. 13...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? And speaking of voter fraud, “here's a newsy bit to help you start your day,” as the late, great Alex Thien of the old Milwaukee Sentinel would say—this from one of those places...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, as right-wing cracker-jackanape jackboots goose-step toward 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I've decided it would be more patriotic of me to forgo whipping out...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, I hear we got another Labor Day coming up, the holiday when we honor the workingman by pissing the day away drinking beer in the backyard or a park somewheres. Yes sir, the last extended weekend...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So here we are, smack-dab amidst the Dog Days—or diēs caniculārēs as they would say in the ancient country of Latin before it sank to the bottom of the sea. Yes sir, it's those days this time of year “marked...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? Listen, got to skip the essay and meet up with the fellas to make our Irish Fest plans, so I'm on my way over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school where the guys to be sure are already gathered to dilly-dally the...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? Listen, it's come to my attention that my mustard may not be every Tom, Dick and Dickless's cup of tea. Can you believe it? I imagine there are those who would fall to their knees to be praising the Lord...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, can't pony up much of a chock-jammed essay for you's this week on account of having to meet the fellas up over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school, so's we can make our plans for getting...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? Can't slap together much of an essay for you's this week on account of because I'm expecting the guys at my door any second now in order to haul my sorry ass Up North past by Hayward there for another Valhalla week at my buddy Ernie's brother-in-law's ramshackle cabin/cold-water coop...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So, sorry to say I'm a little too busy to whip out a hellzapoppin' fully blown essay for you's this week. Right here, right now, I'm wrapped up in a pet project of mine, which is to try to get those-in-charge to replace the singing of “God Bless America” at our sporting events with a catchy tune...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So about this hoopla hubbub with Fox News' Chris Wallace asking Michele Bachmann this: “Are you a flake?” You got to be jerking my beefaroni. Let's be fair and balanced. A flake? Focking-A. She's the whole goddamn 20/30-inch...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, turns out I'm a little short on time to whip out a big-time essay on account of the fact that the Pick 'n Save grocery stores launched a Monopoly game hullabaloo with practically $3 million in prizes, and I aim to nab every single dollar...