I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So OK, some of you’s may have detected that my usual heady froth of spewed steam was nowhere vented in last week’s gazette. So cry me a river, like a guy can’t get tied up with more important matters once in awhile than...

Gone Fishing.

I’m Art Kumbalek and manoh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here we are all right already rounding the corner of a middle of the June and each day that passes not only is one less to endure the noisy summertime, but also one less for the possibility of an embarrassing vacation...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, if you wonder whether or not I might be a tad put off by the fact that our president chose someone other than me to fill up his first U.S. Supreme Court vacancy; wonder no more. I am disgruntled, and here’s why.

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, sorry to say that I am not able to whip, nor pump, out a heavy-dutifully thought-invoking essay for you’s this week on account that I be otherwise occupied with slapping together what I would intend to be my Gala...

I‘m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’d like to express gratitude for the kind words that appeared on this page last week, words meant not only to explain my absence on account of being in the thralls of a death’s-door experience, but also to assuage...

Editor’s Note: Well, he’s done it again. By now, we’re all used to Mr. Kumbalek phoning it in whilst writing his essay, but this week he’s literally phoned in to say he can’t even write a phoned-in essay for his few-and-dwindling readers. Much like death and taxes, only far more of a pain...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So what the fock, the other day I suddenly realized we got an election for governor of America’s Dairyland right around the corner in a yearand-a-half come the November of 2010, which means I got a heap of pipe to lay from now...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, about this character by the name of Rick Perry—who just happens to be the American governor of Texas—flapping his gums about how maybe the Lone Star state ought to fold and walk away from the constitutional union of spacious skies, amber...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, as the poet from out of St. Louis, Eliot what’s-his-name, once said, “April is the cruellest month.” To which I say: No shit, Sherlock. Best for me is to lay low this time of year, so I called the office and told them I wouldn’t be coming in to whip out an...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And what the fock, curiouser and curiouser are these Focks News Network-sponsored tax-protest tea parties for our guns-and-god dirtball wannabe white-supremacist less-than-a-crowd who swallow the spew from Joe Plumb and Plumber etc. that if the ultra-...

I'm Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain'a? So listen, maybe it's the year of time, and maybe it's the man of time, but I find myself not to be all OMG that the movie High School Musical 3: Senior Year is now available On Demand, courtesy of your pay-perview cable TV beneficence, so sue me.

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I can’t believe it’s the Eastertime already. Ordinarily I’d be slapping on the final sheen of shellac to this week’s essay right about now, but alack, I practically damn near forgot I’m past due to meet up with my apostles over by the Uptowner tavern...

Greetings from Hayward.

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, this old-school tune is gosh darn stuck in my head as I walk this land with broken dreams while I have visions of many things—like money’s happiness is just illusion, filled with sadness and confusion. And I wonder, what becomes of those...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And let’s just hold on a cotton-focking-picking minute here, shall we? Listen, it’s that time of year where I’ve got to signal for a time-out, and take a breather—it being the Lenten season after all, during which I have yet to decide on a personal sacrifice I...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’ve got no available time to flip toward my essay malarkey this week, and you can thank last weekend’s daylight-savingtime blarney for that, what the fock. Sixty minutes, gone poof!—never to return, like a guy’s retirement “portfoolio" entrusted...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, for this week’s essay I figured I’d do a little research, make a couple, three phone calls and etcetera, so as to figure out why the AM-radio Rush Limbaugh character hasn’t been arrested for high treason yet, what the fock. Cripes all-mighty, this guy...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man ohmanischewitz what a world, ain’a? So what the fock, another Presidents’ Day has come and gone and yet I am agog with wonder about just where the time goes. It seems that just the other day I couldn’t figure out how the Packers weren’t able to hold a lead with two minutes left in the game...

Gone ice fishing.

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’ll be needing to beg your pardon this week on account of my time has lately been used all up with the minute-to-minute vocal launching of apoplectic F-bombs to be bursting in air that surrounds any and all of our congressional Republicans who...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, you just got to love a country whose economy has landed in hell—screw the handbasket—yet has a major political party who just got de-pantsed in the last national election on account of gross ineptitude whilst declaiming that the only...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’m a bit blue this week what with hearing the news that the guy inside the robot suit on TV’s gritty ground-breaking series from the ’60s, “Lost In Space,” has lost his power pack for good, no changes. Yes, Bob May has expired so as to join...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, right now I’m paying some attention to the presidential inauguration hoopla on TV ’cause it’s my duty as a responsible journalist to know what’s up at all times, and besides what else is there to watch? There are no basketball games going on...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I was watching that Golden Globes show on TV the other night that was passing out awards for all the movies and TV shows I haven’t seen. But what I was hoping to see were a stacked starlet or two in slinky dresses cut to South of the Border...