I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it occurred to me the other day that if I want to serve America’s Dairyland as its next governor or U.S. senator, or both what the fock, I better get my ass in gear, I kid you not. When it comes to the notion of civically representing our downtrodden hordes of people not to mention a bigwig or two, I’m a big-picture kind of guy and...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So I hear another Winter Olympics has come and gone and all I got to say is that if they don’t add competitive ice fishing for the next Games, forget about it. They could stand to add an extra event or two ’cause, cripes, it seemed every time I thought to tune in, it was the goddamn curling they were showing, what the fock...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, hate to say that I’m not up to whipping out a fully blown essay for you’s this week. I’m still recovering from the annual Presidents’ Day costume gala me and the fellas had over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school. The presidential scavenger hunt...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Yeah yeah, so another Super Bowl Super-Duper Sunday has come and gone, and I’m figuring that for fans of the Colts and for those who tune in to spectate all the “great” TV commercials, last Sunday fell far short of the super-est of Sabbaths. What the hell was that council on family focus-pocus commercial that...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, for those of you’s wondering if I’m feeling any better than I did last week when I was bitching and moaning about being under the weather, the answer is fock if I know. What I do know is that the amount of snot expectorating out of my head lately would be enough to feed a small fourthworld...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, during troubled economic times such as right here, right now, I know there’s a boatload of American citizens who desperately need whatever assistance our beleaguered states and federal US-focking-A government can pony up. (Tea partiers, be damned. How ’bout you go spend a couple, three years down...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, you remember just the other week right here on this page, my forecast for the year 2010: “Will suck…”? Yeah yeah, I thought you would. And jeez louise I tell you, even though it’s still early, based on personal evidence I’d have to say I’m batting 1,010% with...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I choose not to belabor the craft of a finely honed essay for you’s this week ’cause I’m guessing you’re just too damn busy to read anything important I got to tell you this time of year aren’t you, what with your holiday this and your holiday that...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I got one big honking quandary on my hands these days, I kid you not. As the people’s perennial political candidate for whatever office needs filling, I don’t know if I ought to throw up my hat into the ring for Badgerland governor, mayor of Beertown, or maybe county executive and/or sheriff. All of these gravy trains...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So what the fock, Tiger Woods is in the company of a New York City nightclub hostess, some knob from the peanut gallery shouts, “In the hole!” Mr. Woods, clutch linksman that he is, complies; so then later the Mrs. Woods grabs the post...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Listen, no essay this week from me for your freeloading Thanksgiving-holiday needs, no sir. I don’t have time to self-importantly gasbag some kind of treacly tripe about what we all have to be thankful for, what the fock...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So here we go, a reoccurring dream, that it’s a Tuesday morning and I’m feeling like I got hit by a train sometime during the night, which causes me to believe that I may not have enough smoke up my ass to blow out a fully...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? And what a chock-packed full-jammed issue this week, what with the “best this” and “best that,” I tell you. And I’d just like to say to any of you’s out there who actually had the cotton-focking...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world,ain’a? So listen, hard to believe Hallo-focking-ween has come back up, up like a tainted fish fry from St. Sal Monella’s—fare fit for a firstclass ride on the porcelain bus...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, the Packers don’t look too good, our gridiron Badgers can’t hold a lead, and about twice a day I’m nearly run over whilst legally traversing a crosswalk in downtown Milwaukee by some one-handed shiny-car motorist numb-nut or numb-twat who’s too busy to pay attention...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I got to tell you’s I’m a little under the crappy weather on account of the annual Columbus Day get-together me and the fellas had the other day over by the Uptowner tavern/ charm school where we toasted repeatedly the significance of discovery until we discovered we were clean...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’ve been dogged, paddling through some blue, dark deep waters of late. And I’m figuring it’s on account of this gut feeling that somehow I got switched at birth (hell, I could’ve been switched yesterday for all I know), and that rightfully really I’m some kind...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I hear there’s been a load of scuttlebutt all over, under, sideways and down America’s Dairyland lately

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, the AM talk-radio gasbags I hear say that our current presidential administration is passing out czardoms like condoms at a college frat party. Apparently, these air-waved Brownshirt bozos think this not to be a good thing...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, that douche-bag South Carofocking-lina Republican’s response to the president’s address to Congress the other day reminded me of the time Snow White got thrown out of Disney World ’cause she got caught...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, to these school districts whose goose-step supervisors decided not to allow their student rabble to hear our American president’s back-to-school speech, I have but one question: What the fock?

Gone fishing.

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, oh yeah, such no time for me to whip out an essay for you’s about why Green Bay Packer fans ought to show up at Lambeau Field on Sunday, Nov. 1, with unconcealed bazookas strapped to their fat-ass Cheesehead Dairyland hip.

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, speaking of this so-called Death Panel our new Nazi health insurance policy is supposed to have, I’m thinking maybe that’s not such a bad idea, provided I get to be the panel’s head honcho ’cause I’ll tell you I got a list, oh boy do I...

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, what with the Irish Fest down by the lakefront ’tis this weekend, I thought it a nice thing to share a little story with you’s afflicted with affection for “Ye Ole Sot,” and it goes something like this: