God’s Music

Brother Cesare Bonizzi, 62, of a Capuchin monastery near Milan, Italy, is the lead singer in a heavy metal band that recently released its second album, Misteri. The group performed at Italy's "Gods of Metal" festival this year, which was headlined by Iron Maiden and, ironically, Judas Priest. Brother Cesare, who boasts a white, flowing beard, booms out gritty but non-proselytizing lyrics while wearing his traditional brown robe. He told BBC News in July that his superiors have never interfered with his music and that he plans to send a copy of the new album to the pope. "He is a music lover, and metal is music," Bonizzi says.

Leading Economic Indicators

Economists have reported mixed results for the U.S. government's $100 billion stimulus package that was distributed to taxpayers this spring, but a July trade association spokesman noted that the Internet pornography industry has flourished. Adult Internet Market Research Co. reported that "20% to 30%" of "adult" Web sites reported that sales rose during the time that checks were being issued. Nevada brothels, however, were suffering, even though the BunnyRanch brothel ran a stimulus check special: Hand over your $600 check and get the usual $1,200 "party," which involves "three girls and a bottle of champagne."

News That Sounds Like a Joke

(1) After complaints by neighbors, police went to an apartment in Framingham, Mass., in July to quell a raucous screaming match between two women who, it turns out, are deaf.

(2) In Crawley, England, in July, police were called to a supermarket to break up a fight between two grandmothers, who were ramming each other in their mobility scooters.

The Aristocrats!

(1) Donald Seigfried, 55, and Diane Whalen, 54, were arrested in June and face several charges after police found more than 200 homemade videos featuring Whalen having sex with various dogs. Police were alerted after Whalen's son found the evidence of his mom in action.

(2) In June, a woman and her two children were nearly hit by a car while walking in a parking lot near Fort Walton Beach, Fla. When the woman approached the female driver to let her know that the kids were unhurt, the driver allegedly erupted in anger. And when the woman tried to calm the driver by offering her a church brochure, the furious driver grabbed it, pulled her own pants down and, according to a police report, used it to "wipe her female anatomy."

The Entrepreneurial Spirit!

High Point University, located just south of Greensboro, N.C., was referred to as "Club Ed" by the Chronicle of Higher Education, because it provides free ice cream for students, a hot tub in the middle of campus, wake-up calls and a concierge service, all run by a campus "director of WOW," whose job it is to thrill the "clients" and attract new ones. This is the strategy of President Nido Qubein, a motivational speaker and "customer comes first" businessman. So far, enrollment is way up, even with higher tuition, new construction is transforming the campus and Qubein has raised $100 million in three years.

Challenging New Products:

(1) Designer Britta Bacon created stilettos for toddlers, though with soft heels, which recently sold in Toronto for $39.95 a pair; and

(2) Kitchen Craft has begun selling a rotating ice cream cone in the United Kingdom. The scoop of ice cream gently revolves counter-clockwise, so that people can simply stick their tongues out to eat it.

Frontiers of Science

Many nations are exploring how to curb cattle flatulence, which releases the greenhouse gas methane. Tactics include altering the diets of cows so as to reduce flatulence, though this requires monitoring the gas compositions from the old and new diets. To collect the gas for measurement, according to a July report in London's Daily Telegraph, researchers at Argentina's National Institute for Agricultural Technology rigged a large plastic tank to the cow's back, with a tube to the backside, to directly capture each emission. The alternative, researchers pointed out, would require a human to follow a cow around with plastic bags.

One Obsessive American

Sam Bloomfield, 58, grew up in Tonga but arrived in the United States in 1976, and says he has tried to show his gratitude ever since, according to a July 4 profile in his hometown Herald of Everett, Wash. He has tattooed "God Bless America" under his left eye, "Land of the Free" under his right eye and a large "USA" across his forehead. Last year Bloomfield underwent another 15 painful hours with the needle to cover the rest of his face with stars and stripes, in order to resemble the American flag, so that he can toast his beloved country in the mirror every morning.

© 2008 Chuck Shepherd