Team Who Gives a F#$@!?

I don’t ask a lot out of life. I really don’t. Sure I’m a broke college kid on the brink of graduation where I will receive my overpriced degree in English Professional Writing and be thrown in the scary world of loans and babies, but I’m getting by. Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to drive something other than a ’97 mini van, but then I give myself a reality check and live with the fact I look like a soccer mom…or a pedophile.

But I do have one small request of the world. It’s nothing big or demanding. I just ask that everyone stop making Twilight references because I DON’T GET THEM! Who is Edward and why the hell should I be a part of his team? Vampires. Really? Really?

As long as we are on the subject, can we put a moratorium on references in the classroom too? It’s bad enough that I have to hear how Bella does this or that when I’m waiting in lines or making work conversation, but I draw the line when you compare Forks, Washington to 19^th century England. (The only reason I know some of these details is because I looked them up on Wikipedia. That’s right. I care so little about the topic, I’m trusting Wikipedia.)

So world, just lay off me. I don’t mind when you sing Fergie at the top of your lungs outside my bedroom window at four in the morning. I generally don’t even care when you fellas feel the need to ask me if I have a boyfriend. (Which I don’t, wink, wink.) But for my sanity, please just stop trying to relate Twilight to everything from politics to communism in Russia. Seriously.